The firing of YS Marko

The youth ministry world took a big hit this morning.  A press release from Youth specialties and their parent company Zondervan announced the “release” of YS president Mark Oestreicher.

YS press release

I haven’t had much time to think about this, and perhaps I should wait a few weeks to reflect…

But nevertheless I feel compelled to write.  But before I get to some personal thoughts, I wanted to share a brief history/overview of how Marko came to be so important to youth workers in the 21st century.

Youth Specialties was founded and developed by men of boldness and courage, who were not afraid to push the limits.  Mike Yaconelli was a modern-day prophet (especially to youth workers).  His books Messy Spirituality, Dangerous Wonder, and the Core Realities of Youth Ministry gave me hope for youth ministry and inspired me to enter the family and stay the course.

Grace was given and received.  Theology and rules questioned (and broken).  There was, for the first time, a true sense of freedom and joy accompanied with youth ministry.  You were given permission to be yourself and be the person God was shaping you to be (not made to feel guilty that you were not conforming to someone else’s image or expectations)

No one really cared about what others thought of you or how many people you might offend.  Authentic faith was demonstrated in the lives of youth workers and then modeled and passed down to generations of students across denominational lines.   I even remember hearing that Yaconelli told the crowd at  one YS convention that if they needed rest for their souls to skip the sessions and workshops and sleep and play.  And…. if their marriages were rocky, to go grab a bottle or two of wine and lock themselves in their hotel room for the weekend!

He understood the plight of youth workers and also knew what real refreshment was like (spiritual, physical, emotional).  And we learned together that sometimes laughter is the best remedy.

The first YS convention I attended occurred one month after Mike’s tragic car accident.  Myself, along with 5,000 other youth workers wondered what would happen.  What would become of YS?

Who would take over (not just the leadership) but the prophetic voice of Yaconelli?

Marko received that calling and answered it well.

Every year since, I have witness Yaconelli’s dreams flourished and expand.

Marko embraced all, loved everyone, and found grace and truth in everything.

Under his leadership, not only did YS expand cross culturally and around the world, but new voices were given permission and a platform to share with the world.  The mission of God was put on center stage for us as both youth workers and followers of Jesus.

Recently, many of us read Marko’s last blog.  I have included the link below

The end of YS Marko

It appeared to me that God was preparing Marko for major change.  Perhaps this transition is a good thing.  Maybe not for YS right now or for the hundreds of thousands of youth workers, but for Marko and his family.

I don’t know.

I hope Zondervan made a decision based upon God’s leading and not a business decision.  But am not too naive to realize that sometimes tough decisions need to be made for the long-term benefit.  Perhaps visions were not aligning just right.  Perhaps God has something better in store for Marko.  Or perhaps, this is the wrong decision and time shall reveal the fate and consequences.

I choose not to question Zondervan at this time. I choose to pray for Marko, and wish him God’s absolute best.

I hope and pray that another prophet will emerge who will take up the torch and run wildly with abandon.

Marko, we all appreciate what you have meant to us.  Most of us never personally knew you, but we certainly felt like we did.

You kept us going and kept us excited and passionate for youth work. You lead by example, motivation, and inspiration.

May we pass on what you have taught us about grace-living life and loving God-serving students-having a global view- soul searching and spiritual formation-and being ourselves all the while.

Though you never knew me, you believed in me.  Thank you.

We believe in you and will continue to support you wherever God leads.

–appreciative youth workers from around the globe

Relationships Unfiltered

Zondervan was kind enough to send me Andrew Root’s second book, Relationships Unfiltered, and I am glad they did.  I am not sure what the official release date was or is, but if you have not picked up this book, you will want to.  Author  and former youth pastor Tony Jones writes, “Relationships Unfiltered is the single most important youth ministry book in a generation.”

A quick summary:  This is a revised version of Root’s first masterpiece, Revisiting Relational Youth Ministry.  I wrote an extensive three part review of that book and have included the links below.

Revisiting Relational Youth Ministry_review part 1

Revisiting Relational Youth Ministry_review part 2

Revisiting Relational Youth Ministry_final review

While the first book was soaked in theological ideas and seminary language, this book appears to be written for a more general audience.  Not to say that others could not read or benefit from his first book, but Relationships Unfiltered is a perfect blend of stories, reflections, Scriptural interpretation, and practical approaches that can benefit anyone in youth ministry.  Besides, any book that mentions some of my favorite movies has to be worth the read.  In this book Root uses analogies and excerpts from such films as About a Boy, Good Will Hunting, Little Miss Sunshine, Freedom Writers, and I Heart Huckabees.

The subtitle of the book is “Help for youth workers, volunteers, and parents on creating authentic relationships. “

I would love to have my parents and volunteers read this book and discuss together how we can implement Root’s ideas about what real incarnational ministry can and should resemble in our lives and community.

Enough of the introduction…let me provide a brief overview and synopsis of the content.

Root begins from a place within.  His own experiences (both as a husband and youth leader) lead him to question the methods and beliefs commonly ascribed to by many in youth ministry.  He came to the conclusion that his approach to youth ministry was that of influence.  His goal had been to build relationships with students so to influence them towards some end. He writes, “but my desire to influence them was keeping me from really being with them-in a truly relational way.”

He further confesses, “We cared more about getting them saved, baptized, confirmed, or involved in positive activities than about being truly with them in the deepest joys and sufferings of their lives.”

Rather then entering into their lives, he had simplified his role to “fixing” students.  Of course, the problem is that students are smart and savvy, and see straight through that, dont’ they?

As youth workers, we may think that having an agenda for our students is a good and necessary thing, especially if the agenda is to lead them to Christ.  Once again, the problem arises when our students don’t agree that the agenda is such a good thing, thus spoiling or preventing relationships to deepen.

Root continues by making a strong case why relational youth ministry cannot be about influence.  Without giving away too much, a basic premise is that we cannot act or be perceived as sales reps for God and salvation.  No one likes people who attempt to start a friendship with you, only to then try to sell you on a business pitch.  Anyone been in that situation before? As adults, we see through that and often end up resenting those “friends”, so why would our students think differently of us if that becomes our approach?

Root asks a bold question to youth workers, “Do we have a ‘point’ going into a relationship that dictates the direction of the relationship and overshadows our ability to truly be with and for a young person, learning real need?”

Ouch!

Andrew believes, and rightly so, that relationships in ministry are not pathways to quick decisions. Rather, they are invitations to share life (all of life, its good and bad) together.   “At its core, relational youth ministry is about being with students in the midst of the all-too-common (and tragic) feeling of being alone. “

Root moves on  to examine the life and writings of Dietrich Bonhoeffer (whom I love) to help further understand relational youth ministry as place sharing.  He really develops this theme in his first book, and if you are a Bonhoeffer fan, you should read it.

Place sharing means “to suffer with” and “stand in” for the full person of the adolescent.  It was and is what Jesus does for humanity.  It is represented as community in the essence of the Trinity.  Root spends a few chapters diving in theologically and showing how place sharing fits into the nature and role of Christ as Incarnate, Crucified, and Resurrected.

Incarnate

To be incarnate in youth ministry has little to do with magnetism, little to do with your ability to attract adolescents with your aura of cool. But is has everything to do with gently entering the lives of adolescents as we invite them to enter our own.”  That is what Root calls authentic place sharing.

The incarnation claims that God is among is, God is with us, and God is for us. It proclaims we are free– free to be human, free to love one another, and free to love God as God made us, human.”

Crucified

Since our world is full of brokenness and suffering, the fact that Jesus entered into human history and experienced pain and death can give us hope.  Bonhoeffer wrote “Only a suffering God can help.”  Youth ministry is not about fixing students suffering, but about being brave enough to see it and live with it in hope; to see it, to name it, and then to respectfully enter it and to share in their journeys.

“When suffering is shared, often its power to strangle is broken.  The power of suffering to determine our destiny is broken when suffering is shared in relationships.”

Resurrected

“Relational ministry in the shape of the resurrected Christ is to live and love in the now”  This enables us and our students to live fully present in this world, but also to have hope.  ”What makes us different from non-Christians is that we live fully in a fallen world of death and loss and nevertheless hope in God’s promises won and witnessed in the resurrection of Jesus Christ.”  Our job, as youth workers, is to hope with them as we suffer with them.” What a great statement!

“When we assert that God is present in Jesus Christ in relationship (not in where we take the relationship), we are free, because God’s presence is not dependent upon us- it’s already a reality.

“Our call is simply to be with youth, to share their place, to see them as they are as we invite them to see us as we are, and is so doing confess that Jesus is present between and with us. We don’t have to do or be anything other than our authentic human selves.”

In order to truly be human, we must be both real and open with students, as well as closed when necessary.  We put our lives on display, but in a real way that fits into our personality, family, and basic realities of existence.  Let’s be honest, being open and available to students 24-7 is not healthy or realistic, yet why do so many new youth pastors attempt to do that?

What are we saying about the value of rest, privacy, family, and our own interests?  We need to be ourselves and share that authenticity with our students.  They will respect us more for it in the long run, and ultimately the lessons we exemplify will be far more sustainable.

Root concludes with some practical approaches and ideas depicting what place sharing might look like in your ministry context. I especially appreciated the story about a small group of leaders and students who meet at a church.  As often happens, the students seemed disengaged and hyper active. Yet, when the time came for group prayer, the students shared personal requests and prayed for each other with sincerity.

Root writes, “There in that nondescript room that lacked flat-screen TV’s, video projectors, and a platform stage that the leadership seemed to covet as marks of success and relevance, adults were sprinkled throughout, sitting with kids, touching and smiling at those who spoke, nodding with them as they expressed their fears and brokenness into the life of the community.”

To me, that is youth ministry at its core.  It’s not about what we have to offer, it’s about entering fully into the real lives of real students.  Here in the northeast, we do youth ministry out of what we have, not what we want.  I am glad Andrew shared this particular story as a hallmark of success, because in many viewpoints (by comparison) no one would take notice of that small raggamuffin group of people sharing life together.

I will conclude my review with some key concepts and a few final statements that spoke into my heart and ministry.

Practical Actions for Youth Workers:

Be a relational matchmaker

recruit and serve volunteer leaders

communicate with parents

share the vision

pass on the faith through doubt and struggle

include students in your life

A section that especially challenged me to critically think about my own youth ministry was a set of questions proposed.

Root articulates that if our ministry is about personal influence, then these are the type of questions we are focussed on:

How can we get kids to come?     How can we do the most cutting edge ministry?   How can I do a good job and be esteemed?

However, if we are able to shift from a ministry of influence towards a ministry of place sharing, the questions shift from “How” to “Who”

Who are these young people and what is impacting them?  Who I am alongside them?  Who is this God we serve, and who is God calling us to be and be with?

Personal Reflections:

These questions left my mind spinning, as I contemplated my ministry and realized just how often I ask myself and leaders the first set of questions, and how seldom I am asking the second set.   Relational youth ministry is not easy.  It is easy trying to “fix” my students and make them believe and behave the right way. That way, I can show them off to the elders of my church and don’t have to deal with the drama and struggles of teen life.

However, true youth ministry means getting involved in the mess and not avoiding or ignoring it.

Is it easier to look the other way?  Yes.

It is more presentable and manageable to not have the addicted, abused, and depressed in your group?  Of course.

Let’s face it, they often complicate things.  But isn’t that how real life is anyways?  No one has it together, and to promote that kind of message to today’s students, I think does more harm than good.  Yes, Jesus can and does heal our brokenness and we should celebrate that when it happens, but it usually does not happen overnight.

After I read this book I uttered a simple prayer that God would stir my heart and make me more sensitive and compassionate to students in need. I don’t want my youth group to be a place where students feel they have to hide their doubts, anger, and issues.

Just this week, a girl opened up in our small group about cutting herself and contemplating suicide, another stood in court to testify to sexual abuse in her family, another is battling sexual addiction, one is threatening to overdose on pills, and the list goes on.  Just last night, a number of students opened up about major issues going on at home.  Tears were being poured out like offerings and I witnessed other students (who have gone through similar struggles) rise up and pray for those in need.  It was truly a magnificent and powerful occasion.

In years past, I would have almost prayed that these students simply not show up each week (problem solved).  Now, I want these students in my group. I want to hear their stories and enter in their pain.  I want to pray with and for them and to give them hope.  I prayed just the other week that God would give me more compassion  and opportunities to enter into the lives of students.  Be careful what you pray for!

My prayer is that my life and ministry will celebrate brokenness and hurting students and I will not run away from issues, rather enter into them with compassion, faith, hope, and love.

$5 Training recap

This past weekend, Chris Folmsbee traveled from Kansas City to Bedford NY.  We had the priviledge of hosting the $5 Training from Barefoot Ministries.

Chris is the author of A New Kind of Youth Ministry and upcoming book Story, Signs and Sacred Rhythms: A Narrative Approach to Youth Ministry.  He has traveled the world, speaking and training youth pastors and youth workers.  He has spoken to 5,000 people at conventions and lead this same training for  hundreds in packed churches.  Yet, here he was coming to the northeast, to the small and sleepy village of Bedford Hills, NY to help struggling youth workers and volunteers better understand why we do what we do.

Since there is relatively little youth ministry culture in the northeast (not to mention the overwhelmingly busy and chaotic schedules everyone has) it is honestly difficult to promote anything having to do with youth ministry in these parts.  Perhaps it is similar where you live and work.  Conversely, I spoke with a youth pastor from Texas who said, “I could spit in the middle of a field, put a tent over it and call it a youth event, and get 200 students to show up.”

Chris came and interacted and engaged with our small and intimate gathering.  He seemed to thrive in the atmosphere, as he was able to have one-on-one conversations with every youth worker, volunteer, and parent in attendance.    I was able to have a good number of my team there, and the training was a perfect way to us to learn and grow together. Much of the ideas presented we have been working hard to implement, and so the training was an encouraging affirmation of the direction we are moving in.  It was great for my leaders look up and realize “Now I understand why we made that change” or ” Our curriculum and lessons really do work together towards the spiritual formation of our students.”

The training was perfect for parents as well.  Five of my leaders have students in the group and the material offered really helped them not only better understand the importance of youth ministry and their children, but better understand the  processes that students go through as they develope spiritually.

The training and content was also perfect for our area.  Most youth ministry “experts” don’t get the northeast.  There are many cultural factors here that make ministry frustrating and difficult, and 9 times out of 10, the books being written and training offered just does not translate to my experience here in NY.   Barefoot’s training and trainers seem to understand the dynamics at work.  It helps that someone like Chris grew up for a while in NY and was a youth pastor here for a few years.  Barefoot is also promoting and encouraging youth workers from our area to speak out and have a voice and they are willing to speak into our context and not just avoid it or disregard it like so many others.

A few of the factors that characterize this particular are that the vast majority of youth workers are unpaid and untrained.  Most youth workers here (even the paid ones) have never read a youth ministry book or attended a big conference.  Many volunteers are adults, who struggle to find the time and the balance between being a parent and, at the same time, being the church’s answer to the youth “problem”.

Morever, the effects of postmodernity and its ideologies have already permeated the schools and communities and anything to do with “religion” is not greeted warmly and looked down upon in many circles.  While there is a great history of Christianity and religious revivals, they are distant memories that in no way shape the current situation. These are just a few of the challenges facing us here, and so we need people to speak on our behalf and people to speak into our realities.  I think Barefoot has the ability to do that in the months and years to come.

Without giving away too much of the content, here are some key concepts presented in the $5 training:

Discipleship: Shaping Students for the Mission of God

This seminar will look at the key elements of the mission of God, foundational aspects of discipleship and a practical outline in which to guide students to engage in life-long spiritual discovery and growth.

Leadership 101: 10 Essentials for Developing Healthy Teams

Healthy teams are the backbone of successful youth ministries. God has called each of us to use our gifts and passions to contribute to something that is greater than ourselves – the mission of God. Discover 10 essentials for developing healthy teams that accomplish more than we could ever do on our own!

Engaging Parents: Keys to Helping Students Develop an Authentic Faith

It is widely known that parents are the primary influence in a teenager’s life. This seminar will look at how we can involve and encourage parents toward developing an authentic faith in the lives of their children. This seminar will look at the critical journey of faith and the three roles a parent can play to guide their children through their spiritual journey.

Discipleship is about shaping students for the Mission of God.  The redemptove storyline of the Bible is God’s plan to restore humanity to wholeness and complete harmony.  To understand the nature of God’s mission, it is vital to understand the Biblical text, your particular faith community, and your specific cultural context.

Some essentials for developing healthy teams include being a community first, open, honest, and truthful relationships, being able to listen, celebrate, and pray together.

Some keys to helping students develope an authentic faith is understanding the faith formation process and allowing for questioning, confusion, encounter, perplexity, etc..during the informative years.

Both parents and youth leader function at various times as Advisor, Advocate, and Guide and “youth ministry end only when the relationships cease to exist”.

What I appreciated the most about Barefoot’s training are 3 things:

1) The kindness and care of their leadership and trainers- they really took an interest in our church and our area.

2) The focus on theology, philosophy, and ideology behind youth ministry.  This was not a workshop on how to promote you group better or run sweeter games.  The material looks critically at the Scriptures and the Story of God and how the theology of the incarnation and mission of God should be what drives our youth ministries.  There was more theology and Biblical interpretation and contextualiztion offered in this training than any other youth ministry training I have attended, but it was done in communal and conversational way that promoted questions and discussions.

3) The price.  For the same cost as one of those 5 dollar footlongs at your local Subway, I was able to bring almost my entire leadership team for a day of training, inspiration, and support alongside other youth workers from our area.

My wife always says, “you get what you paid for”, usually in reference to the discounted garbage bags I buy that fall part once you put anything but paper in!  But don’t let the low cost fool you.  The content, structure, and materials offered (including a flash drive containing the content and slides) rivals (if not tops) the other one-day training events offered.  I have been to them all, and Barefoot offers one of the best at a rate that every church can afford to send people to.

I realize that locations could be problematic.  We were the only church in the northeast hosting, and only one of eight in the U.S.  But I know that Barefoot has received huge response already from churches willing and wanting to host next year. If you are one of them, check out the website and get info about hosting one in your region.  Readers and friends across the pond in the U.K, I am not sure what the plans for expansion are, but it is worth looking into as well.

Barefoot Ministries is also producing some excellent training materials and curriculum that can be used for Student education (sunday school), small groups, Bible studies, and even youth lessons.

“Barefoot exists to provide youth workers with effective ministry tools and resources. Our deepest desire is to partner with you in guiding students into spiritual formation for the mission of God.

Through youth ministry training, books, media, curriculum, magazines, web-based resources and a growing number of resources in development, Barefoot is committed to walking along side of you with practical resources and training as you serve the students and families in your church and community.”

Barefoot Ministries

Check out the link above if you are searching for some quality materials and content that you can adapt to fit your particular group of students and needs.

My top 5 list for youth workers

As I meet new youth workers in my area, I am often asked the question “What books or resources do you recommend?”  My thoughts have changed over the years, but having read most youth ministry books out there, I have come to some decisions.  Granted, every youth worker is different and so is every context .  These are the five books I would recommend a new youth worker read and, in fact, I have given this list to my former interns who are now in full-time youth ministry.

(There are other non Youth Ministry books I highly recommend as far as theology, personal and spiritual development, church ministry, etc…, but this list is primarily about progressive and innovative youth ministry ideas, philosophies, and content that I have personally found to be the most helpful and inspirational in my situation)

I have posted a page on my blog with a more complete list of recommended books, but I chose to keep this list limited to five so not to overwhelm someone.  All of the books are fairly short and easy reads, and my advise is to read one book a month and really digest it.  After six months, you should have a good understanding of new models and thoughts for an every-changing youth ministry)

Each book speaks into different aspects of youth ministry including relational approaches, spiritual development, philosophical/theological perspectives, cultural/worldview changes and implications, and new ministry models.  I have written some reviews of these, which you can find by searching the blog, and intend to have a review written on each book shortly.

In no particular order:

A New Kind of Youth Ministry- Chris Folmsbee

An excellent book about re-culturing forms and structure of traditional youth ministry models such as evangelism, disciple ship, leadership, missions, etc..

“A New Kind of Youth Ministry should be the handbook for a generation of forward-thinking youth workers.” – Tony Jones

Youth Ministry 3.0- Mark Oestreicher

Marko realizes that the way we have been doing things is already not working. This book looks back historical to the major shifts in youth ministry while attempting to create a third way- new approach in ministering contextually and cross-culturally to new generations of students.

“This book will inspire, equip, and challenge you with an extremely thoughtful and realistic approach to youth ministry for the 3.0 orbs we find ourselves in.” -Chris Folmsbee

Postmodern Youth Ministry- Tony Jones

Probably the first book published that researched the effects of postmodernity on students and attempted to re-think what youth ministry needed to look like.  Eight years after publication, it is still probably the best book out there on the issues and countless people are finding encouragement as they realize the inevitable influence on postmodernity in their own contexts.

Presence-Centered Youth Ministry- Mike King

This book sets the bar for creating a theological and historical foundation for God’s presence in youth ministry.  The book shows how classic disciplines, symbols, and practices can shape the worldviews, virtues, and habits of young people today.    “If Brother Lawrence had been a youth pastor, this book would have been his favorite resource.” - Kendra Dean

Relationships Unfiltered- Andrew Root

Andrew Root challenges youth workers to reconsider our motives for relational youth ministry and begin to consider simply being with and dong life alongside teenagers with no agenda other than to love them right where they are, by place sharing.  ”Relationships Unfiltered is the single most important youth ministry book in a generation. ” -Tony Jones