the art of managing your youth ministry…learning to reprioritize

Recently I was stressed at the amount of “stuff” I had to get done. I thought once I finished with graduate school, my work load would drastically decrease and my time in front of the TV increase.

not the case.

case in point!

I remember back in college having to read youth ministry management books that gave us rookies ample advise and tools to organize our youth ministry in order to maximize effectiveness. They all read like operational manuals or business plans and clearly focused on the administrative aspect of our roles.

While these types of books can be helpful, I believe that finding a healthy balance and “managing” your ministry has more to do with priorities than specific organizational methods.

After I actually got a job as a youth pastor and had my desk piled high with a laundry list of to-dos, I started taking a more critical look at what I was supposed to be doing.  I soon realized that my priorities were out of whack, thus causing the unnecessary and often overwhelming sense of stress and burden.

I still have much to learn and a long way to go.

Just to give you an idea, here is what is on my plate for the week (and why sometimes I lay awake at night very restless until the day breaks and I can begin chipping away at the pile)

1. Update my youth budget and somehow get rid of an extra $1,500 that the board tells me I can’t have and apparently no longer need!

2. Revise our job description and requirements for a director of middle school ministries

3. Update my facebook account with over 200 pictures (which also need to be scanned)

4. Finish putting together my monthly parents e-newsletter (which means writing a few more articles and scanning even more pictures and articles from magazines)

5. Sending out my weekly email to parents and students about youth group this week

6. Registering for our weekend winter retreat, school break ski trip, and weekend mission trip, and distributing the forms for those.

7. Try to plan out my spring calendar of lessons, activities, and games.

8. Send my secretary my bulletin information for our youth insert this Sunday

9. Prepare a brief overview of our 2009 youth ministry expectations for this Sunday’s annual meeting.

10. Make sure we have enough party supplies and food for our Superbowl party

11. Trying to actually write this blog and update and post another 5 articles I am currently working on.

On yeah, and if time permits, working on my 2 youth lessons and Sunday school/bible study lesson for the week.

and the list goes on…I’m not kidding!

For many of you, this sounds all too familiar. For some, you hate the office part of your job. Many of you have gotten fired for a lack of “administration” skills, because somehow they are put on par with the other spiritual gifts needed to serve God and minister to students.

But there might be some of you who love sitting behind a desk full of papers and watching the time tick on the mounted clock in your office.

But let me ask you a question, do you notice anything strange or particular about my to-do list?

Not one of these” important” tasks is actually ministering to students!

Now, let me ask another question:

Are the still important?…they can be.

Emails, text, newsletters, websites all can facilitate conversation and growth, but they never replace actual conversations, meetings, prayer, and one-on-one mentoring.

I’ll be honest with you here…

There have been weeks when Monday would roll around and I would be in the office at 8am sharp (crazy for a youth pastor, right?)

busy. busy. busy

Working on all these ministry tasks (which should be better labeled administrative chores)

Tuesday-same thing

Wednesday-same thing ,until I realize that I only have a few hours before youth group is going to start and I needed a lesson!

These “tasks” had often take precedent over my lessons (both pray and prep time), and that should never have been.

But I also know a few ministers whose message/lesson prep time takes complete priority over actual ministry to and with others…and this should not happen either.

I have learned that when preparing for God’s word takes time and energy away from spending time in it, that is never a good thing.

When writing articles and emails about students and about ministry becomes more important then getting together with them, that is also not healthy.

Now, some of you may be at churches where they measure your productivity basically by how much administration work you do.

The bigger the pile on Monday the better…that kind of thing.

While that may look and feel right in the business place, remember youth ministry is not a business nor should not be run like one.

Secretaries, executive pastors, marketing committees..all of this lingo seems to portray that we are in some kind of business..maybe like paper production (shout out for The Office!)

(Which before and after youth retreats, you might think you are in the paper business)

But the only “business” we are in is forming the spiritual lives of students.

And that does not happen at an office, behind a computer, or in front of a stack of papers.

So, let’s learn together to re-prioritize…our schedules, our time, and our workload.

Let’s focus on the more important things (and yes, I am going to bring out the classic Mary vs. Martha thing for a moment)

I have truly learned that  spending time at the feet of Jesus and helping students do the same…these are the more important matters of our faith.

Our schedules, priorities, and ministry tasks should reflect that.

Keeping so busy at the office that we have little time for students, lessons, prayer, and Jesus does not reflect that.  Pretty simple, right?

If youth ministry is stressful, it should be because we realize that lives are truly at stake.

We can rightfully get stressed over an abusive situation, a student suffering from an addiction or illness, or that angry parent who didn’t like the fact you talked about masturbation.

But let’s not get stressed over paper products which ultimately get deleted, shredded, or filed away in some musty box somewhere.

Let’s not be stressed because we failed to set aside adequate time to fully prepare for the lesson, especially if it was because we were too busy playing video games, chatting on-line, or caught up doing all that “busy” work.

And no matter what your day or week looks like,  remember that students are more important than paper!

What’s on your profile?

I have realized since newly joining the Facebook phenomena, that I am connecting with many youth pastors across the globe, keeping up with my students of past and present, talking with family members, and reconnecting with childhood friends and high school classmates. By the way, I just had my 10 year reunion and am amazing how time has changed things!  For some for the better, but for others….

But what this entity of Facebook has taught me is that I am very conscious about how others view me…and rightfully so.

I am all into the “pastor” profile thing, displaying my religious and political views and posting links, videos, and photos about my ministry.

Yet, when one of my baseball players from school wants to befriend me, I become very aware at what my profile is screaming out out to them…”Hey I am one of those tight a@# Christian pastors!  Want to be my friend so I can convert you?”

And when some old friends from Jr. high and high school discover me, what is the first impression I want to make?

Now, I want to make this clear, I am not ashamed of who I follow and what I do.

Yet, i am very leery about shutting the door too soon (possibly because of false conceptions), and not allowing a genuine friendship to occur.

If these new Facebook friends think I am solely out to convert them, then how much of an authentic relationship will I have with them?

At the same time, I must also be very careful with what I post to these non-religious friends, because my youth group students are always watching!

And by the way students, I am always watching you and have been appalled by some of the comments and photos you post!

While at times ignorance is bliss (for a parents and youth pastors alike!),  I don’t want my students to think the same about me.

I don’t want them to think, “I wish I never knew that about Dan”, or to somehow have their respect of me diminished by what they see or read on Facebook.

Of course the easy solution (which I happily agreed to for years) was simply to not register on Facebook and basically stay out of the web of social networking.

But I must admit that times are changing, and with it come new and great opportunities for relationships and conversations that would have otherwise never occurred.

So…I am now on Facebook

But back to my stated dilemma.

I cannot lie or hide things,  nor should I have to.

Here is what I am convinced of:

As youth pastors and leaders, we should have the freedom to be ourselves and be real, understanding that God is always at work on us chipping away the rough edges of our lives.

If things come up from my past and magically “appear” on Facebook, then I own up to my past and teach a lesson from it.

And if I allow myself to be put in  a tempting situation now (and am stupid enough to let someone take a picture of it) then shame on me.

I need to take a long hard look at who I spend time with, what I spend time doing, and where my priorities are. Remember, we are no longer in high school or college (for most of us) and should not act like we are.  We are called to minister to these students, and in order to do so effectively, there must be a certain level of maturity that comes with the responsibility.

Now, because of a level of disconnect, I have a few students who will not let me see their profile, and I am still wrestling with where the line between pastor and friend needs to be.

But again, we cannot control what our students post, we can only lead by example and keep praying for them and encouraging them to take a good look at the person they are portrayed to be online.

So, as we all have probably given a lesson to our students about watching what they put on social networking sites like MySpace and Facebook,I find myself asking the tough question

What’s on my profile?

It is an accurate portrayal of who I am and the person God is forming me to be?

Do I present myself to friends, family, students, colleagues, and strangers in a way that will not run them off, but will rather offer hope and inspiration?

Do my list of friends all reside within my private circle of Christians?  Is my profile full of “Christianese” language hard to understand by anyone outside of my circle?

As youth pastors, we have a very complex role and unique identity. On the one hand, we are called to help spiritually develop young people and what we do and say should be a reflection of that.

On the other hand, as followers of Jesus we are issued the call to reflect God’s love and message to those who do not yet know His love.  I believe that in everything we do, we must be mindful of those not part of our “Christian” circle.

And we are also friends, family members, neighbors, coaches, teachers, community workers, colleagues, and much more.

May our lives, actions, teachings, and attitudes reflect these callings and identities.

May we be mindful that eyes are always watching and ears listening to what, and how, we say things?

May we live within this vast complexity as authentic followers of Jesus, proud to know the One who has given us our hope and life, while keeping an open door for those who do not yet know Christ.

And may our Facebook profiles be just an mirror image of our lives on display.

Winter series…youth pastor development

After my brief hiatus and attempted plunge into the political heartbeat of our country, I am going to be posting 4-5 articles on youth pastor development.  Not which books to read and conferences to attend (although helpful), but some things I am learning and processing through in my journey as a youth pastor.

As my philosophy, approach, and style of youth ministry is changing, adapting, and emerging into something new, I want to share my experiences.  My thoughts, questions, and reflections may resonate with you, because I have the feeling that we are all on similar journeys.

The paths that lead us here are as distinct and different as our ending destinations shall be, but together we wrestle, struggle, hope, and pray for God’s guidance and direction for our lives and ministries.

Sometimes our careers and souls go through their winter seasons. But unless you live in that crazy part of Alaska…spring is always around the bend.

I look forward to sharing my stories with you, as here in New York we bunker down for another long and cold winter.

I would love feedback and comments you may have from your own experiences, and I look forward to the interaction we will have over these next few months.

a youth pastor’s impressions from the presidential inauguration

(this video was created for my class on Teen Spirituality for parents last spring, but it fits in every well. Listen to  Obama’s famous ‘yes we can” speech and also notice the written words)

Where were you when President Obama was sworn in?  I am sure that years from now we will all remember this moment. It truly marks an historic occasion for our nation and possibly the world, and perhaps is a sign of things to come for those of us in ministry.

Now, whether you woke up the day after the inauguration with hope and renewed enthusiasm, or if you woke up in complete disbelief and despair, may indicate whether you voted for Obama or not.

I am not much of a political analyst, but I do believe that no matter who you voted for or what your particular political beliefs may be, now is the time to support and pray for our new leader.

After listening to many of the debates over the past few months, watching the elections, and now taking a few hours on Tuesday to watch the inauguration of the first African American president, I have observed a few things that may or may not impact ministry in the future.

1. We are truly living in unprecedented and changing times.

During the presidential election, one of the CNN correspondents keenly observed that the face of American culture is transitioning to a much more moderate to liberal position.  Obama was able to sway the popular vote in many suburbs that have previously been Republican.

One political analyst remarked, “Barack Obama does not transcend race, rather we are living in a post-race America.”  In many ways America is becoming post-race, post-denominational, and post-Christian. The things that used to divide us are becoming fewer and fewer…and I am not so sure that is a bad thing.

Personally, I believe that over the next 5-15 years, the shift from red to blue will sweep across the nation. Some may argue against that and others may weep at America’s “moral degradation and ethical demise”.  However, it should be note the higher % of Catholics and evangelical Christians who voted for Obama and the growing shift toward the blue by the next generation of Christians.

Obama noted in inauguration speech that America is made up of Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, and even atheists. Yet, if we all strive for peace, we may be united as one.

Emergents reveal is this kind of talk, thinking that if we can just get by religions barriers, we could actually accomplish something good. Diversity is accepted and embraced in this new political regime and perhaps it should be in ministry as well…of course to a certain extent. But I am convince that for too long we have leaned much too far in the other direction. Those of other religions, lifestyles, and even political viewpoints have been shunned by many “Christian” and evangelical ministries and…yes youth pastors.

2. Barack is striving towards peace and prosperity…and so should our ministries.

I have heard two very contrasting views from members of seemingly opposite Christian views.

On the one hand, emergents view this as living out the words of Jesus and having God’s kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven. It is a prayer that God’s people would be a blessing to all nations and that together, the world would be healed and restored.  Obama’s rhetoric speaks with optimistic  hope and passion that this may become a reality..at least within America.

On the other hand, some fundamental Christians will say (and I am not joking) that the book of Revelation speaks of the an-Christ doing just these things by ushering in a reign of peace, unity, and prosperity. And then of course, things only go downhill from there.

So which is it?

3. Our nation is becoming more diverse and tolerant.

There does seem to be great diversity and tolerance now, certainly along racial lines (good) and across religious lines (we shall see)

I suppose that Christians need to act more like Jesus than the judgmental Pharisees.

But how united can Christians and Muslims actually be?

I do think it is time we Christians learned from our past mistakes (crusades!),

and started reaching out in love, hope, and faith to those not yet Christ followers.

Perhaps they never will be.

Perhaps they will always stay our bitter enemies

but you know what Jesus said about your enemies….

4. Our nation’s leadership is getting younger.

Barack is a very young president and though he lacks the experience of someone older, his charisma, passion, and enthusiastic zeal for change in contagious with the “emerging” generation.

Forever in this country (and in church leadership), youth has been largely ignored. But I have a feeling that is going to change. Hey even the Pittsburgh Steeler’s coach is now the youngest coach to ever make it to the Superbowl (and he also happens to be African American)

Companies, sports teams, and governmental offices are looking for younger and ambitious people hoping for change.  Sounds like your typical youth pastor!

Perhaps churches will get on board with these changing times and start actually valuing the opinion of their youth pastors, rather than just sticking them in some basement to babysit students.

Perhaps God is speaking through the next generation…before we grew too old.

Perhaps our time is now!

Our time to voice out for the emerging generation and have our opinions heard and matter.

What does this all mean for youth ministry?

For starters, I hope that youth ministries will be taken more seriously in the near future. As young ministers, God has given us a voice, ambition, and a vision for hope and change. All we need is the right platform.

And more than ever, we must start to realize that we are helping develop the future leaders of our nation and our world..and for some of them that could start fairly soon.  It will probably happen closer to their 30’s than their 60’s like in times past.

Also, perhaps we should have more students in our programs who are post-Christian and perhaps part of another religion. As our nation grows more diverse and (hopefully) united, maybe our communities could do the same. And what better place for that to start than in the church and our youth ministries!

True these “different” students may influence the group?

But couldn’t the group influence them?

I think youth ministries in the past have been known by what we are not and who we are not

rather than what we are becoming. A new community of humans changed by Jesus and living out the story of God in our day.

As President Obama exclaimed, we cannot stand for “anything goes” anymore.

We need accountability and we need to stand up for what is true and just.

But I am becoming more convinced that we must also stand up and work towards peace, reconciliation, and a hopeful and hope-filled eschatology.

*As the video portrayed (which you really should watch if you have not yet)

In this ever changing environment, the lines are getting fuzzy for adolescents.

right vs. wrong

who’s in and who’s out

spiritual vs. christian

religious vs. atheist

But maybe some of this is a good thing.

Maybe we as youth pastors need to start looking beyond the differences and start looking toward the similarities.

After all, we claim we believe the origins stories from Genesis.

God created all of his children is his image?

Yes the Fall did occur and we see that in every aspect of life.

But a hope-filled viewed is determined to look at people through the Designer’s eyes. Not what these students have become, but what they were intended to be and could yet become.

As the lines get fuzzier and come towards a center, perhaps a more accurate picture will be displayed…that of a human being, created in the image of a God who loves them and who desperately wants a relationship with them.

In final retrospect of the election…

Rather than trying to fight against the coming tide (which some may attempt to do), I believe we must acknowledge where we are heading in America.  Our nation is following in the footsteps of our birth parents…the European nations and is thrusting forward into postmodernity.

Take the North East for instance. If the general culture is moving away from certain ideologies, “modern” worldviews, and modes of thought, what shall become of the church if it holds ground?

Now, I am not advocating for compromise, but for a shift in the way the church sees itself and its place in society.

I hope that we can try to see what God is doing in our county and how He might be already at work to bring about some of these positive changes…and try to get on board.

Listen, if our faith is not strong enough to remain and grow within postmodernity, then how strong was it really? The amazing thing about our faith is that it has always been able to morph, adopt, and adapt to changing times.

So, as we enter into this new period of history, let us pray for wisdom, and seek to partner with God as he continues to bring restoration, redemption, justice, and reconciliation to our society and world.

If we advocate first for a change of worldview, principles, ideologies, beliefs, and practices, than that requires a  great deal of change before a student can even belong or fit in with a youth group!

If we stick to that philosophy, I am not sure there will be very many students left in the North East (and eventually America) who will actually fit in as they are.  Perhaps Belonging must come first and Belief will follow.

As the great songwriter Bob Dylan once sang, “The times…they are a-changing”

Will youth pastors embrace the changing times and partner with God or will we hold fast and fight against the evils of “liberalism” and postmodernity and wait until God does something about it?

Which option is more proactive?

Which is more hopeful?

Which will seek to bring the gospel of Jesus to more people?

In closing…

Now, I realize that our new president stands on some ethical principles that I personally do not agree with. Yet, many of his views and beliefs resonate with me and I believe are kingdom principles.  Reformed health care, taking care of the poor and needy, educating those in need, asking for accountability for our actions and decisions, being a good steward of our money, promoting equality and unity across all lines, not showing favoritism to the wealthy and elite, etc..

You will find these in the life and teachings of Christ and these also have been a trademark of churches (and mission trips) for a long time. If our nation is truly in a time of crisis, than we need God’s kingdom to reign here more than ever. American has truly become a “mission field”, so let’s join together (ideally churches and our government) to bring about much needed change.

I don’t know about you, but I watched the 2009 presidential inauguration with great excitement and hope. I don’t know what the future holds, but I choose to be optimistic and see how God may already be at work in our nation to bring about his purposes.

Looking at it the other way around (that our nation is slowly going to hell in a hand basket) is depressing to me. Now, it may very well be true, but if it is I am going to fight with every last breath to bring this place back to God’s original intent.

I want to see God’s handiwork and presence saturated all around me and even in the policies and structures of our newly elected government.

I will do my part, and who knows, maybe together will we truly see change.

With God’s help…yes we can!

And whether you are a Democratic or Republican, voted for Obama or not, I hope you choose like I have to now support our new President with prayer during this time of transition and new beginnings.

from big to small..the art of downsizing in youth ministry

I was recently at a panel discussion for youth pastors and the question asked by one of the youth ministry students was “how large is your youth group?”  While a few were teetering around 10-15, the majority of youth groups in our area hover around 25-35 students (who actually attend). Of course there is always that anomaly. This particular youth leader proudly boasted of over 100 students. Everyone was enamored until they heard me.

(you are probably thinking to your self, “self, how big is his youth group?)

I answered by saying we have _____amount of students, but are trying to get…smaller!

Stunned silence. This was probably not the reaction or answer they were expecting.

You don’t often hear youth pastors saying that they are trying to decrease in size.

Have you ever heard any type of entrepreneurial business or organization boast of downsizing?

But, if we were to be honest with ourselves, isn’t  that what youth ministry has actually become?

A sort of self-promoting entrepreneurial enterprise…that exists for the glory of God..(and self) but of course we keep that on the hush hush!

Usually, youth pastors try to get large budgets, higher attendance, more buses, and use what they have to leverage for more and better.

Kind of sounds like a start-up company turning into a Fortune 500!

And certainly the Wall Streets of youth ministries are known across the country, and envied by everyone.

well..not everyone

Now let me clarify the title of this article. By downsizing I do not necessarily mean preaching so hard a message that would drive away even the apostle Paul from your youth group. Nor do I advocate installing morality detectors at the door to minimize the number of unruly or uncommitted students.

It should be noted that some argue for this, because Jesus was apparently always thinning out the crowds looking for the “true disciples”.

I don’t think it is wise to intentionally try to eliminate kids (yes even the really smelly and annoying ones who always seem to show up early and leave late)

However, rather then focusing so much time, effort, and often money into bring new kids in…

let’s focus on equipping and ministering to the ones we already have!

If the youth group grows, so be it.

But even if it does not (numerically), your current students will experience life-changing relationships that will impact their high school and college years through adulthood (and probably will be a greater impact for the kingdom of God down the road then many of the mega groups)

Here are some ides:

Rather than do your annual winter ski retreat that 50 kids will come out to, change your winter retreat to a weekend service project. your may “downsize” to 25 kids but will guarantee have more of an impact of those who do come.

Change your popular progressive diner night to a feeding the hungry night (help out with a food pantry, soup kitchen, or actually walk the streets and feed the homeless)

With big groups comes big challenges (see article on “Crowd Control vs. Relational Ministry)

But I think that one of the biggest problems is that the sheer size of a group can limit the possibilities and potential.

It is hard to be accountable to 50 friends.

It is hard to see how you make a difference when lost in a crowd of 2,000 at some conference

It is hard to commune (fellowship) with God and others when being shuffled around like cattle from thing to thing in the midst of an endless torrent of media.

Simply put, it is really hard to journey down the path of spiritual formation and connectivity in the big.

This could be one of the reasons why house churches worked so well for the early church and some people argue that the institution of Christianity in Rome (and subsequent building of massive worship centers) began the downfall of the early church.

Mark Oestricter (YS Marko) brilliantly states,   “Smallness prioritizes relationships over numbers”, and only in the small can students genuinely and authentically discover true mission, identity, communion, and intimacy with others and God.

Communion necessitates small.

Contextualization begs for small.

Discernment requires small.

Mission is lived out in small.

So, if your current youth ministry is not as big as you once dreamed, thank God for that and refocus your time and effort on the spiritual health and growth of the students.

It’s time to get small again!